Prepare to Soar: the Mentor-Mentee Relationship

“Brokers,” “sounding boards,” “sources of social capital,” these are all words previously used to describe or identify mentors, who have long been known to provide knowledge, skills, and strategies to support less experienced or advanced workers (Mertz, 2004; Perry & Parikh, 2018; Joshi, Aikens, and Dolan, 2019). And while most of today’s employees have supervisors and teachers, not all benefit from strong, positive mentor relationships. According to Chopra and Saint (2017) these relationships are closer to that of a parent and adult child than to that of a boss and an employee, as mentors should “embody the type of person who a mentee wishes to become” (Chopra, Arora, and Saint, 2018). But what exactly constitutes a positive mentorship and how can we find one (or more) without formal organizational pairings?

While young adults may enter the working world with a great amount of uncertainty and unknown opportunities, those experiencing midlife/midcareers may be going through a period of reassessment of their past endeavors and find themselves “confronted with the challenge of readjusting future dreams and coming to terms with past accomplishments” (Kram, 1985). This provides a unique opportunity for a mentor relationship; through enabling others, midcareer adults satisfy valuable generative needs and evaluate the past by participating in young adult’s first attempts at successful careers (Kram, 1985). In addition, these relationships may greatly benefit mentees; for instance, clinicians who have been mentored are more resilient, motivated, feel more supported in their jobs, and have more developed identities, when compared to their counterparts (Sheri et al., 2019).

Time and again mentorships have proven valuable, but what are they really? After looking at the wide variety of mentor definitions, Mertz (2004) used intent and involvement to distinguish mentoring from advising, coaching, and role modeling. The author explained that mentors’ intentions are future oriented; whereas supervisors focus on the present performance and achievements, mentors propel mentees to get ahead in the organizational or professional context (Mertz, 2004). In terms of involvement, mentor and mentee are “inextricably linked together” in the advancement of the mentee, and mentoring requires more of an individual than does advising (Mertz, 2004). Mentors are invested in their mentees’ success, use their networks and reputation to promote mentees, share thoughts, dreams, and perspectives, and thus, require a high level of trust (Mertz, 2004). This is why, unlike advisors, mentors should not mentor too many individuals at once and also why this type of relationship should not be mandated as not everyone is prepared for such a commitment (Mertz, 2004).

Still, both formal and informal mentorship pairings are commonly used. In formal settings, the pairing is assigned by a third party and outcomes are more easily monitored, though this strategy may feel contrived and limited by lack of time or funding (Perry & Parikh, 2018). Conversely, in informal settings, the pairing happens organically and is more cost-effective, yet outcomes are more difficult to monitor, and it may lead to frustration for both parties if relationship expectations are unclear (Perry & Parikh, 2018). According to Perry and Parikh (2018), mentors “must possess the experience and temperament needed to provide the support, knowledge, resources, guidance, and example expected from the mentee.” Characteristics facilitating positive mentor relationships are altruism, honesty, active listening and intellectual skills, compassion, nonjudgmental attitude, enthusiasm, as well as collaboration, and accessibility (Perry & Parikh, 2018; Frah, Goldfarb, Tomczik, Karels, and Hordinsky, 2020).

An outstanding mentor will use their own success and failures to guide the mentee as well as recognize and promote the mentee’s individuality (Frah, Goldfarb, Tomczik, Karels, and Hordinsky, 2020). And, since an exceptional mentorship involves both mentor and mentee being passionate about “areas of mutual interest and want[ing] to further the field,” it must also involve the recognition that “the mentee may surpass the mentor or even potentially compete directly with the mentor in an area of mutual interest” (Frah, Goldfarb, Tomczik, Karels, and Hordinsky, 2020). Importantly, although the relationship may start with the mentor offering advice and assistance, it may evolve to the mentee reciprocating the aforementioned behaviors (Frah, Goldfarb, Tomczik, Karels, and Hordinsky, 2020).

But there are also important aspects for mentees to keep in mind as they navigate the relationship. Mentees should not limit themselves in neither number and areas of interest, nor age, career stage, or distance, as different mentors provide different resources and opportunities for advancement and growth (Frah, Goldfarb, Tomczik, Karels, and Hordinsky, 2020). Mentees should be respectful and cognizant of their mentors’ time and input, “be active listeners, be open to feedback, be responsible, possess a good sense of timing, and have a willingness to engage in a mentor-mentee relationship” (Perry & Parikh, 2018). And in managing generational differences, mentors and mentees may find the key to success in technological changes and joint adaptation (Frah, Goldfarb, Tomczik, Karels, and Hordinsky, 2020).

Outstanding mentors place their mentees’ interests above those of the organization and find ways to provide career growth and advancement such that their relationship enables their mentees to soar beyond limits (Grant, 2021). Rather than being concerned about if and when their mentees surpass their knowledge and abilities, these mentors feel excited by the prospect of it; they feel confident in themselves and want to see their mentees succeed. As former PepsiCo CEO, Indra Nooyi, eloquently put it, “Mentors just know you are going to change the world” (Grant, 2021).

References:

Chopra, V., Arora, V. M., & Saint, S. (2018). Will you be my mentor?—Four archetypes to help mentees succeed in academic medicine. JAMA internal medicine, 178(2), 175-176.

Chopra, V., & Saint, S. (2017). Things every mentor should do. Harvard Business Review, 24.

Farah, R. S., Goldfarb, N., Tomczik, J., Karels, S., & Hordinsky, M. K. (2020). Making the most of your mentorship: Viewpoints from a mentor and mentee. International journal of women’s dermatology, 6(1), 63.

Grant, Adam (Host). (2021, October 26). Taken for Granted: Indra Nooyi wants us to reimagine the return to work [Audio Podcast episode]. In Work Life. TED.

Kram, Kathy. (1985). Mentoring at Work: Developmental Relationships in Organisational Life. Administrative Science Quarterly. 30. 10.2307/2392687.

Krish Sheri, Jue Ying Joan Too, Sing En Lydia Chuah, Ying Pin Toh, Stephen Mason & Lalit Kumar Radha Krishna (2019) A scoping review of mentor training programs in medicine between 1990 and 2017, Medical Education Online, 24:1, 1555435, DOI: 10.1080/10872981.2018.1555435

Joshi, M., Aikens, M. L., & Dolan, E. L. (2019). Direct ties to a faculty mentor related to positive outcomes for undergraduate researchers. BioScience, 69(5), 389-397.

Mertz, N. T. (2004). What’sa mentor, anyway?. Educational administration quarterly, 40(4), 541-560.

Perry, R. E., & Parikh, J. R. (2018). Developing effective mentor-mentee relationships in radiology. Journal of the American College of Radiology, 15(2), 328-333.

By: Teresa Aires